Purity in dating relationships
First of all, remember that if you plant purity today, you will reap a rich harvest, free from shame and guilt. (And if you’re not a committed disciple, why aren’t you? (This assumes that you yourself are a growing Christian.) 4. When we judge people by their appearances, often we turn out to be dead wrong—and meanwhile we may have made foolish choices. Realize Christ is watching and is with you all evening—wherever you go and whatever you do. He is with you because He’s omnipresent, but as a believer He is with you in a very special way: you are His holy temple (1 Corinthians ). Realize where you go and who you go with will influence your sexual desires.
And, by the grace of God, you’ll look back on your life not with regret, but with joyful gratitude. Be smart, not stupid, and you’ll enjoy the best God has for you! Just because lots of other people date doesn’t mean you have to. ) Just because a person is a Christian doesn’t make him or her morally safe or a worthy partner. When we put ourselves in a godly atmosphere with godly people, we are influenced toward godliness.
But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless–it will change.
God has created and designed marriage and sex for his glory and as a picture of the gospel God has created and designed marriage and sex for the good of the married couple Intimacy, sacrifice, spiritual growth, trust, humility, provision, support, pleasure Marriage and sex are desirable by design, but how and when we take part in them can be an issue Sin tempts us to claim marital blessings outside of marriage, God’s design/glory, and purity Dating is sin’s most influential arena for impurity, propelled by the world’s lust God calls us to find our spouse through godly relationships, built on godly purposes, love, and purity So what does the Bible say about purity, relationships, and dating?
Which sounds all noble and righteous and everything but in this context is really just a facade for fear. The more pieces you give away, the less of your heart you have to give to your spouse someday. Because your heart is whole and she just gave a piece of hers to a guy she isn’t married to. You have more to give your future husband than she does. This has nothing to do with the righteousness and grace of God, and everything to do with the accomplishments of man. They create skewed views of relationships which lead to dysfunction This is where I still struggle. But the idea that I can defraud just by a look, that I could become emotionally impure just by a thought, that I might become damaged goods with pieces of my heart strewn all over tarnation, and that guys “only have one thing on their mind” and we need to help them control themselves, has truly negatively affected what should be normal interactions with my friends. In the real world, men and women can have innocent relationships. Faith says “I will follow You even when I can’t see where I’m going, even when the world is collapsing around me”.
He even went so far as to say that each of those former flames actually have some sort of hold on you. My 3rd child doesn’t have less of my heart just because I’ve loved two other children before him. I remember watching a video where one of the biggest names in the courtship movement bragged with obvious arrogance that he didn’t tell his wife he loved her until their wedding. ” We took something as simple as saying “I love you”, built a strawman rule around it (“saying I love you is defrauding”) then hung it like a trophy on our walls. Where others see nothing wrong, I am suspicious of every look, every situation, every witty exchange. I was trying to explain this to my friend and it came out sounding so….crazy and embarrassing. Honestly, I don’t get embarrassed talking about much. They can talk to each other without one of them thinking there’s ulterior motives. Formula says “I will not risk, I will be in control of my future”. We don’t take a step unless we can see where we’re going. They were new in my generation and now I, and others like me, are reaping the fruit of them. I’m sure those who promoted such ideas had good intentions. Without Truth and Grace they can do more harm than good.
If you do choose to date, the following guidelines can help you maintain a walk with God and guard your purity. “Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character’” (I Corinthians ). Realize your date is your brother or sister in Christ—not your “lover.” “Treat older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity” (1 Timothy 5:2).
Sometimes it’s actually comforting to me to be met with blank or incredulous stares from people I consider “normal”, good Christians. In my life it meant never having a crush on a guy, never allowing myself to “fall in love”, basically training myself to shut down a normal, healthy, functioning part of my human heart. I rejected the teachings of courtship and emotional purity when I was 19. There are several ways that these teachings can damage a person’s heart. Shame because that’s “sinful” and “emotionally impure”.
It somehow validates my belief that some of the teachings I grew up with were very wrong. Shame because it sets a standard and proclaims that you are somehow shameful if you cannot keep it.
You must stay safely back from the line where either one is propelled toward sexual intimacy. Focus on talk, not touch; conversation, not contact. Gaps always get filled, often with temptations to sexual impurity. Setups include such things as being alone on a couch or in a car late at night or in a bedroom.
Treat your date as a subject to listen to and understand and appreciate, not an object to experiment with, conquer or satisfy your desires. Avoid fast moving relationships and instant intimacy. A car moving too fast is likely to swerve out of control when it hits a slick spot. Know what you’re doing and either stick with the plan or go somewhere safe, where you’re in the sight of others (particularly others who respect the need for purity). Determine to stay away from the setup, rather than putting yourself in the setup and having to call on your convictions when your resistance is at its lowest, and you’re most likely to give in. Be accountable to someone about your physical relationship.
It is ridiculous to suggest that there is not enough of my heart to go around. We were taught never ever ever to be alone with a guy. Purity and integrity in relationships can be there without being unnaturally freaked out about it. It’s nice to know I’m not alone in my dysfunction but discouraging as well.