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They both say it can be nerve-racking, but a few things help: sitting the person down in a place that’s comfortable for them, trying not to be too emotional, starting off with something like, “Hey, there’s something I need to talk to you about,” and bringing a wealth of knowledge to the conversation.“I always try to be calm and not too clinical but explain that I have done the research,” Carlson says.
Davis agrees, saying she fills people in on key details, like how herpes is transmitted, how transmission can be prevented, whether she’s taking medication that keeps the virus from multiplying, thus making it less likely to transmit, and how to find more information about the STD.
You can have great sex, find love, and also cut down on the chance of passing herpes along to your partner, Triplett says.
You can also get herpes by kissing someone who has an oral (mouth) infection, by having oral sex with someone who is infected, or by any skin-to-skin contact involving an infected area. When the blisters break, they leave small sores, also called ulcers, which can be very painful. Many people report feeling a tingling sensation in the area before the blisters appear.
When herpes infection occurs on the mouth and lips, it may appear as "cold sores" or "fever blisters." These aren't really caused by having a cold or fever; they're caused by the herpes virus, and they are highly contagious.
But all the self-acceptance in the world doesn’t erase the fact that a herpes diagnosis creates ripple effects of shame and social isolation, and the fallout is especially pronounced when it comes to your dating life.“It’s good to have the conversation because there is a potential risk of transmission,” Cherrell Triplett, M.
D., an ob/gyn who practices at Southside OBGYN and Franciscan Alliance in Indianapolis, Indiana, tells SELF.
The virus still lives in the skin, even when it looks normal.